2011-11-01

On, Tips, Tricks, and Advice About Moustache Wax

In honour of the first day of Movember, I will be revealing my secret moustache wax recipe for the first time.  To date, I have uttered to two fellow gentlemen, in harsh whispers the contents of my secret moustache wax. This will also kick off the next 30 posts or so, issued one day after another, for every day of this month (wish me luck). Drum roll please.... Ingredient one... PETROLEUM JELLY (such as Vaseline).... Ingredient two.... BEES WAX.... heat and stir and your done. That's right. That's it. two ingredients, as listed on Wikipedia. Am I going to recommend you use this? No. Because a very skilled barber recently informed me of a better alternative: Raisins. Believe it or not the natural pectin found inside raisins works far better, is easier to wash out, doesn't clump, looks nicer, and has a pleasant aroma assuming you like raisins. Just squeeze it in between your fingers until it splits and use the sticky innards. do this in front of a mirror so you don't end up with clumps of raisin all over your face. Good luck gentleman...
...and unique ladies....

-The Baron


ps. do a google image search of "bearded ladie". I Dare you.

2 comments:

-Survivor or something like it said...

I actually enjoyed this post but I don't have a moustache! Might it work as pomade for my mane instead?

The Baron said...

Could, but generally I recommend straight pectin for something like that. Remind me to do a post on the time I failed horribly to give someone a mow-hawk, and a list of creative solutions to lacking a mustache.